the sparkly life: If You Give a Mom 10 Minutes...

Monday, November 17, 2014

If You Give a Mom 10 Minutes...

My friend Beverly and I met in grad school in Chicago. She then lived in New York City, too, for awhile after school, but now lives in L.A. She has two adorable boys and we keep in touch over Facebook. Bev is one of those moms who is basically perfect. She bakes. She cooks. She goes on date nights. She works out. She does it all. Let me put it another way: You know how you see Pinterest pictures of those crazy-intricate school lunches with the sandwiches cut into character-shapes and you think, "Okay, who possibly makes those lunches?" Bev makes those lunches.

She's also very funny (and very, very nice!), as evidenced by a recent Facebook post that made me crack up. She gave me permission to post it here as a guest post, so I've reprinted it below in her own words. 

But first a little background for those without kids: Her post is based on the very popular If You Give a Mouse a Cookie series of books that revolve around giving something to an animal, which makes the animal randomly think of another thing, and then another thing, and another thing, until you're eventually back to the original thing. There's a million of these books--If You Give a Cat a Cupcake, a Moose a Muffin, a Dog a Donut, and so on. Kids love them and the author is a freaking genius because this series can essentially go on forever. There's a lot of animals--and a lot of shit you can give them.


"Reading those "If You Give A Mouse a Cookie" books to Derek always makes me feel like they're talking about my life. Mine would be called 'If You Give a Mom 10 Minutes:'

If you give a mom 10 minutes, she'll start unloading the dishwasher.

Unloading the dishwasher will remind her that the last three times she was at the store, she forgot to buy eggs, so she'll look for a piece of paper and a pen to start a list.

While looking for the paper and pen, she'll see a giant stack of mail on the counter, so she'll start sorting out the junk mail.

Sorting through the junk mail, she'll come across the Athleta catalog and decide to take a quick look.

Looking in the Athleta catalog will convince her that if she had a $200 cranberry-colored pullover, she would be one of those women who always have perfect hair (even after a workout!) and who bike effortlessly to buy their groceries (which are carried home in a vintage bicycle basket), so she'll get online to order the jacket.

Getting online will remind her that she hasn't been on Facebook in 8 minutes, so she'll go on to her Facebook feed.

Looking at her feed, she'll come across pictures of a friend's remodeled kitchen and start thinking about how her own kitchen could use a facelift.

Thinking about her kitchen will remind her that she was supposed write down what she needed at the grocery store, so she'll go get a pen and paper. 

Once she has the pen and paper, she'll forget what she needed at the store.

... And now it's time to get the kids from school, the dishwasher hasn't been unloaded, she's $200 poorer, and she'll forget the eggs yet again."

Too true, no? :) Or are Bev and I the only ones who feel this way sometimes?!

You can follow Bev on Instagram here!


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