the sparkly life: Why Starbucks and I Are On a Break

Wednesday, February 11, 2015

Why Starbucks and I Are On a Break

starbucks coconut milk
photo via Observationally Inclined

Starbucks, you know I love you. But you've let me down. To use the parlance of parents everywhere: I'm not mad at you--I'm disappointed in you. 

It wasn't always this way. I'm a longtime Starbucks fan. In fact, I come from a family of what you might call "Starbucks superusers." (My mom collects Starbucks mugs from every single country and city she visits, if that gives you an idea.) So, let's just say, we like you. We frequent you. We buy a lot of lattes.

And the funny part: I don't even consider myself someone who particularly likes coffee. I've never once made it at home, for instance. Because I don't like just any coffee. I like Starbucks. And what I like most is the ritual of it all. I like hitting Starbucks on my way to work and walking out with a cup that says "Alyssa." (Or, if we're being honest, "Allysa," "Melissa," or once even, "Lester.") I like feeling the warmth through my gloves in December or the icy coolness on my palms in July. I'm one of those weirdos. 

For years I enjoyed a torrid affair with you, expressed through a one-or-two-a-day latte habit (always in the morning, sometimes in the afternoon). So it was a sad, sad day, this past fall, when I abruptly had to abstain because I stopped eating dairy and soy. And Starbucks? I've missed you.

That's why I was overjoyed (yes, overjoyed) earlier this week, when I read that Starbucks was going to start serving coconut milk today! I actually let out a shriek. This was huge! Hallelujah! Prayers answered!! 

I quickly told my mom (she drinks dairy, but as the aforementioned superfan, was still excited that I was going to once again be a part of the Starbucks gang). I told my husband (he doesn't drink coffee but knew that this was going to be a gamechanger for me). I was so freaking excited and started composing a tweet sharing my joy, when I noticed something a little further down in the story: The coconut milk you will be serving is loaded with sugar. (Not to mention a ton of other gross artificial ingredients, but we won't even get into that right now.)

Starbucks, why you gotta hurt me so?

Dunkin Donuts is already guilty of this b.s. (They started serving almond milk recently--yay! But it's the supersweet, sugary kind--boo!) But you, Starbucks? YOU?

I expected better from you.

I'm not sure why corporations assume that people who can't have dairy automatically want their coffee to taste like birthday cake, but well...we don't. I mean, if I want sugar (and I never do), I'll ask for it or add it myself with one of those little brown, pink, or yellow packets you so conveniently already offer in your store. 

I mean, really, how hard would it be to serve unsweetened coconut milk instead and let the people decide for themselves how sweet they want their drink to be? Our lattes, our choice, dammit.

So, thank you for trying, Starbucks. I like to see that you're making an effort. But please, can you offer an unsweetened non-dairy alternative? Pretty please with no sugar on top?

Thanks, SB. Until then? We're on a break.
(Or should I say...Lester.)


Possessionista said...

love it

Anonymous said...

Can you please do a post on your eating habits...I know you said you went paleo and gave up a bunch of stuff but can you go a little more indepth about that. Thanks

a girl named PJ said...

So well written, Lester!

And I come from a family of Starbucks superusers, too! Our moms should get together and compare their souvenir city mugs.

Anonymous said...

thank you for making my day Alyssa, Lester, whatever.

Unknown said...

Cute post! I get really annoyed when places insist upon loading everything up with SO much sugar. I mean, we'll still come there. You don't need to get us all addicted to sugar to get us to keep going. Honestly though, I actually don't like coffee. haha I know I'm weird!

Nikki said...

I haven't been to starbucks in a super long time. I used to love it so much but I have found other local places which are much better and use natural and organic ingredients.

Unknown said...

Haha! I love your commentary! I'm surprised that they don't offer the unsweetened variety!

Cassidy Cruise said...

That's brutal! Have you tried contacting SB directly? You sound pretty convincing and they're losing lots of money without your business... they might consider switching it up! :)


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