the sparkly life: Should I Let My 8-Year-Old Dye Her Hair?

Thursday, August 16, 2018

Should I Let My 8-Year-Old Dye Her Hair?

kids with dyed hair
This is not my kid (yet!), but this is the look she wants. Photo via @kidswithcoolhair

My eight-year-old daughter wants to dye her hair. Like really wants to. And not a soft, natural shade either. She wants "unicorn tips," which is essentially a blend of pink, purple, and blue from the mid-shaft of her hair on down. It's bold--statement hair, if you will.

She has wanted this for several months now, and asks for it every day. And I'm not exaggerating. Every. Single. Day.

And here's the issue: I'm totally against it! Part of the reason I'm opposed is because it's just not healthy. She doesn't just want a translucent tinted glaze (we tried that already--it didn't show up). Instead, she wants vibrant, bold color, which on her brunette hair means we'd need to bleach it first. And I'm someone who has highlighted their hair pretty continuously since the age of 14, so I know that bleaching is incredibly damaging. I don't want her supersoft, shiny hair to turn into straw quite yet!

dyeing kids hair

But if I'm being honest, there's another, bigger reason I'm anti-unicorn-hair: It just seems too soon. She's eight years old! So still a kid! (I was about to write "She's not even a tween yet!" but then I googled to see how old tweens are and apparently they're 8 through 12, so...welp.)

Eight years old is very much a transition age. She goes back and forth between telling me she loves me--and telling me I'm the worst mom in the world. She has started watching old episodes of The Suite Life of Zack & Cody on her iPad, but she also still wants things like American Girl dolls and squishy toys (it's a thing--don't ask). She has definite opinions on her clothes (no dresses! anything with emojis is good!), but she also still wants me to select her outfits each morning. She is clearly starting to grow up. But do I really want to speed up the process by giving her grown-up hair, too?

This isn't the first time I've freaked out about her wanting to make a change to her hair. Last year, I worried that a major haircut would make her look older. It didn't--and I loved the cut--but a bob is different than purple streaks. I fear that colored hair will visually fast-forward her a few years, and that's not okay with me. I want my little girl to stay little for as long as possible--even if that makes me the worst mom in the world.

So what do you guys think? Would you let your kid dye her hair? Have you let your kid dye your hair? Am I just being crazy? Or would it be crazy for me to let her do this?




24 comments:

Melissa Chapman said...

My husband is against all dying, piercing and tattoos except traditional ear piercing and of course I color my hair. I am a little more lenient and would be open to my 17 year old to dye her hair a color.

Sarah-Louise Bailey said...

I don't have kids so this is a hard one for me, I was in my teens when I started dying my hair and at first it was wash in / wash out type ones. I think perhaps colour hair crayons might be better?

Anonymous said...

I’m an outlier - I’ve never colored my hair. I like the color and lucky to not really have grey. Anyhow my daughter has asked for hair color....I don’t think children and teens need to color their hair nor is it something I’d ever pay for. I’ve told her when she can afford to pay for it she can do it.

Lisa Butler said...

I don't have kids, but I do dye my hair vibrant colors regularly. I feel like it won't be as damaging given that it's not her entire head of hair? I also use heat styling tools as little as possible and use a lot of conditioner/conditioning treatments.

Natalie Loves Beauty said...

My mom did not let me get my hair dyed, and to this day I've only had highlights added to them once! That's a tough one, I guess if it's just on the tips it isn't as damaging and can easily be cut off after?

Marcie W. said...

8 is far too young in my opinion. My daughter is 14 and I allowed her to dye her hair a fun color for the first time over the summer. It was her reward for finishing middle school with an A/B average and getting into her top choice high school. I helped her with the process, but she still purchased all of the supplies with her own money.

AiringMyLaundry said...

I think you should let her! It's a fun way for them to express themselves. If my daughter had wanted to do this at even the age of 5, I'd have said yes. I love the colors.

Tasheena Womack said...

This generation is so different. My mother would not have allowed me to color my hair. I'm honestly not sure what I would do. Maybe a small patch.

Candysfarmhousepantry said...

I see many younger girls dying their hair. Totally up to the parents. We as parents said no.

Jeannette said...

I have dyed my kiddos hair, but it was with a non-bleach formula. It doesn't last long but it gets the idea of color in the hair out of their system. I know that the non bleach formula did not worked for her because her hair is so dark but as they get older I am figuring out that I have to let go of certain things and as they become a teenager I might let them dye it with actual stuff (even though I totally agree with you on not wanting to do it because it can turn their hair to straw so quickly.)

Rochkirstin Santos said...

I didn't dye my hair until I graduated from college. It's not because my parents didn't allow but it was prohibited by the school. I think 8 is too young.

SheInHair said...

Great post

Angela Ricardo Bethea said...

Our school didn't allow dyed hair back in our days especially that young. When I was an adult, that's when I had my hair dyed.

Nikki said...

I would have no problem with my son dying his hair any color in the rainbow as long as he doesn't have to bleach it first. I started dying my hair at 14. I only bleached it once, and that was enough to never want to do it again. It's SO bad for your hair, and I wouldn't be comfortable with that many chemicals on a young child's head. So I'm with you on that.

Carol Cassara said...

I think as a parent, it's completely up to you to decide if you're going to allow her or not. I am all about allowing a child to express themselves but it's to a certain limit.

GeekDad248 said...

I may be old school but that is something she can do when she is old enought to be off living on her own. Unless it is important for some sort of special occasion like a themed party or dance which I may consider saying it is ok I'd refrain from letting my kids die their hair.

Gisele said...

I think eight years old is too young to dye their hair. My Mother was a beautician and I didn't dye my hair until I was in high school.

Cassie Tucker said...

I see both sides of this. As a parent you don't want her to grow up to fast and you don't want her to damage her hair that early. I agree with both of those. However, as a person who dyed their hair frequently when younger and who grew up to be a Cosmetologist I can tell you one thing, if you forbid it completely now she will do all kinds of crazy things to it the first opportunity she gets. 13 years old, sleepover at a friends house, she's going to come back with a weird cut or temporary color, etc. Sooooo I think theres a way for both of you to have what you want...well there's multiple ways. You could try hair clips, Disney actually puts them in kids hair at their salon, that are colorful for little pops of color every once in awhile. You could also try temporary sprays for special occasions that would give it, it's no different than hair spray or glitter. Lastly, she could do a temporary color with no bleaching that would wash out in a few washes it won't be as vibrant BUT it would give her some color.

All that being said, if you as her mother just don't want her to do it then that is 100% the right decision no matter what I, the mother at school, or anyone else says!

Robin Chantker said...

Bleaching the hair that young is bad for it. My friend is a hairdresser and she told once never dye hair before they hit puberty.

Heather Riccobono said...

My nine year old daughter wants to color her hair too! I personally have stood on a firm no but I do let her experiment with chalk.

Six Time Mommy TEST said...

To each their own! My daughters are 12 and 11 and only ever done the stuff that rinses out. I think they can figure out the permanent stuff when they are older but its up to the parent I think, to do what they think is best! - Jeanine

Life of a Ginger said...

I don't think there is any harm in letting your daughter dye her hair. I put pink strips in all of my girls hair when I was doing a breast cancer walk (youngest was 6). They LOVED it.

Michelle Cantu said...

My rule for my kids is to have it done professionally and only when they can afford it. I also make sure my they use products that will maintain the health of their hair.

shiela said...

off course, not.

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